JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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