i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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