We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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