She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
