Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
