he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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