You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
