Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
we should paint friendship bongs
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
