he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
