We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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