found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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