no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
