I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
