I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
