I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
