Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
