I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
