she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
