he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
