I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
