no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
