"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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