would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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