Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i need some magic done to my vagina
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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