Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
