You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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