I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
