forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
