You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
