I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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