I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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