i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You were trust falling into bushes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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