these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
