don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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