She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
