i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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