I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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