So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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