did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
