Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize