sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
