I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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