too bad you live with your parents still
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
