but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
