But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
