Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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