Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I love you.
Bad choice
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
