I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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