The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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