singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
