Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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