babies were throwing up all over the place
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
