it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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