the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
