the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hippo gnu deer
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
