Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
