I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize