I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
