dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
