If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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