D3 body, D1 cock
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I am one with the molecules
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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