don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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