She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
