I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
