the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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