I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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