I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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