So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
that's an acceptable place to lick
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
