turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The ass gains better be worth it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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