good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
