I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
