i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
