So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
