Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
