i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
