My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You're a waste of cheezeits
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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