i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
