If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Two words: nipple clamps
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