Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
