Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
