im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
