ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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