Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
