i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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