So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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