God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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