Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
