So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
