Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize