lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
