my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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